hello babies. im back. its been a long long time since ive blogged. cos i gt no time and all. so been really busy. im a busy rocking single lady(: hahah, so yeah been having CCA fairs all over. drama , student councillor, dance prac and many more.
below, are pictures of the drama peeps during the CCA fair at mcpherson. it was super fun. i just feel a bit sad that im not that close to them but im sure are crazy when im with them. i just cant, its not that i dont want to be with them . but after my drama every saturday, i have my religious class, so i have to hurry straight there. then they will be with the other committe members except me. then if they have other activities, it always clashes with my dance and my SC. so i feel bad to have to say no to them. its hard for me but im sure they'll understand. when im with them, i try my best to be the craziets committee member. ((: i swear i miss and love each one of them. next big event that happened was, on the 18th of April, the eve of aboo's birthday. we gave him a surprise. actually, its been a long time since i planned this for him. i actually wanted to have a bbq for him and all, but due to financial crisis and many heartbreak problems (including our breakup, then i cancelled it and all but changed my mind.) ive not enough cash to do one. so later i feel that aboo is still my bestfriend and every year i wud do something special for him. i asked help from my lovers of course, including mommy. ive decided to do a surprise picnic birthday party for him. it was cute, i think he liked it although his expression was priceless(: . i told mum, thats him, as in he is happy and his expression is always like that, mum just laugh. cos she thought he doesnt like it. i must thank my loves for their help. everything they did was so helpful, what would i do without each one of them. ((:



however, later some unhappiness occur between me & him. hmm, its hard . i shall say, you dont know what you've got till you lose what you've got. ive moved on, found someone. am not rushing but just taking things slow. i just want him to move on, cos ive been giving him lots of chance and i was still not appreciated last time. no sacrifices and surprises, im sad all the time and stupid hopes. i no longer come home crying and rush to bed. although i miss all our good times. but im just moving on.

people think its easy for me, saying i left someone for another guy and all. i got no support from my family and friends btw. my family love my ex bf, mum n sis especially. they remind me of him all the time. but i always ignore and i move on. i have friends who dont even know a single thing a bout me moving on and i dont know if theyre happy for me cos im afraid to even ask. what if they'll bitch behind my back. but i feel that, my friends would want to see me happy and im sure they'll understand. its hard when you have a bf and is in your own clique.

i always want my ex bf to still be my friend. to remain as my bestfriend cos i feel so comfortable with him. and i dont want us to be akward . i hate it when you keep on saying u wud ignore me and not join the clique when we meet and you would not talk to me. its hard for me to move on when i think of this things. why cant it be " when youre happy , im happy" kind of thing. haizzzz.i swear i love you. i dont want to lose someone like you and i want our friendship to be very very strong. maybe not as before. but can we at least try to be friends?

ive known a few guys to keep myself busy, but most of them turned out to be so wrong, some rushed me, some force me to love them, some utterly stupid and childish, some just so wrong to be together. sometimes i do wonder why we broke up. but then, im happy to be single. very very happy. then i found someone. someone who doesnt rush me, someone who keep reminding me that im beautiful in and out, someone who is there for me when im in need. someone who cares. C-A-R-E. day by day as i get to know him, i feel that its gonna be hard but its possible. the great thing is we are not rushing.but im just afraid that its only like this cos its the beginning. oh F. love kinda suck big time sometimes. im in love?